Dec 20, 2009

The creative spirit

I have been so busy at my day job lately that my creative spirit has dwindled. Sometimes I'll be in the passenger seat of our vehicle looking out the window while my boyfriend is driving thinking to myself "what are you doing?" I know the reality is that the bills have to be paid and if I want to have this car, the house, and the ability to buy materials then I have to drag myself to a less than fulfilling job five days a week. So that leads me to wonder to myself, "when does it end?" When is it enough? What are we all willing to sacrifice in order to have what society has formed as the "normal" life?

These everyday sacrifices are just that, sacrifices. I loose myself a little every time I walk into the office and sit at my desk in my tiny cubicle. I become a form of person who drones about like a lemming. So some might and do think, "your lucky you have a job, so get over it!" But think about that, lucky? In what sense? Am I lucky that I bring home a paycheck? Am I lucky that I have health benefits? Am I lucky that I have a 401k that will barely get me by when I do retire? If you consider that lucky than I don't think you realize what life really is.

We slave everyday, in many fashions, to hold on to a life where we have no freedom. Yes I appreciate that I make money in order to have a home, food in the fridge, and gas money to visit my mother and father; but I, we, create this life where there is a need to have a "job" in order to "pay" for these "things". WHY? Why do we do this to ourselves? We can change what has so many of us stressed, tense, angry, and saddened. We can change, by sacrificing what is truly worthless. The things that we pay for are costing us our lives not our livelihood!

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